Moooooom?

This is what I heard this morning at some awful hour when it was still dark:

"Moooom? Can you wipe me?" followed by multiple pats on the arm, until I managed to crack open one eyelid 1/2 of the way.

Oh how I wish this was a singular event. But no, it happens a couple of times a week.

While I'm a big fan of potty trained children, potty trained 4 years olds, that still need adult wiping, are not that much better than diapers. Ok, they ARE better, but not in the middle of the night.

Why is it that this business needs to be taken care of before the sun comes out? Why can't it wait until a normal hour? Why do I never hear, "Daaaaad? Can you wipe me?" as I roll over and snuggle into the warm covers?

why?why?why?