flasher

Proto's big day today!  Nine years ago he came to our family.  Such a happy day.  Except for that whole "labor" part.   You see, I am not one of those women who gloriously think of labor and wants to write down a "birth story."  Here's my version of a birth story:  It hurt a LOT and I wanted to die. But I didn't die and did get an amazing baby!  The end.

I've had seven babies.  With the first six I did the labor " au natural," because I am crazy.  (Not to mention one of those births was breech.)  With Reb I decided, NO MORE CRAZY and got the drugs.  Blessed drugs!

As I look back, besides the MAJOR PAIN I don't remember much about my children's births.  It's all a hazy painful blur.  One birth in particular though, stands out.  Proto's.  The reason it stands out is exquisitely embarrassing, so of course, I must share.

We arrived at the hospital in the early hours of the morning. Shortly after arriving it was suggested that I might like to get into the hot tub.  I had heard that this helped with the labor pains, so I thought, "Why not."   I had only been in the tub a couple of minutes, when, BAM.  MAJOR PAIN.  MAJOR MAJOR PAIN.  I remember standing up thinking, "I have got to get OUT OF THIS TUB!"

Now this is where my memory gets a little fuzzy....Still, nine years later all I can remember that happened next was that I was on the table, more MAJOR PAIN and then Proto came very quickly.

Stick's version though is much, much better.

He says (and I suppose he's to be believed) that I got up from the tub quickly, and got out of the tub.  He was trying to grab a towel for me,  but I wasn't listening.  I charged out of the bathroom and into the next room before he could stop me.   And, ummm, how do I put this delicately?  I was buck naked.  I went lumbering over to the table like a big white naked gorilla (It's a good thing I still love him, after he tells me these things.)  So, to sum that up for you, I walked from one room to the next, in my birthday suit, not even knowing I was in my birthday suit, because the baby was COMING!

Two days later, after I had calmed down a little and was recovering from MAJOR PAIN, I was thinking about the labor/delivery and I had a really strange flashback.  Something about me walking around the hospital in all my glory.  I asked Stick, "Umm, when I was in labor with Proto......did I?.....umm....it seems like I ...........naked?"  Ever so cautiously, knowing the delicate (crazed emotional) state I was in, and probably not wishing that I kill him, he gently told me that, yes, indeed I had walked around the hospital naked.  Only now, nine years later does he tell me it was no graceful naked shimmy, but the naked lumbering gorilla walk.

So there you go, Proto's birth will always be memorable for me, but not really in a good way.

Happy birthday my boy!  You are totally worth all that MAJOR PAIN and the exhibitionist act.

3 Comments

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what a visual, man...thanks...that shan't be leaving my mind any time soon.

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wow...tears almost came down my face with laughter! I guess cause I can't imagine you doing such a thing.

What a great story!

Lupeta

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HA HAHAHAHAH HAH AHAHH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAAHAHAHAAAAAAA

you so funny.

and neekid.

and funny.

**KT

PS: I totally remember his birth, as I was there babysitting your other kiddos. I think I made it to your house there in like 7 mins, or something, a world record for sure.

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