material matters

Scene I:
The kids are excitedly discussing our new trampoline.  Thomas mentions that his friend Austin can't wait 'till our tramp is assembled. I ask him if Austin has a trampoline, "No," he says, "but Joe does."
Spencer exclaims, "Joe has a tramp?  I thought he was poor!"  "Why would you think that?" I ask.
He replies, "'Cause he wears poor clothes."

Does this concern me?  Yes. A lot.

Scene II:
In need of an additional car, we buy a smokin' hot 1999 Subaru Outback.  It was a really nice car in 1999, but now, years later it's showing some wear and tear.  It's a little banged up, but drives well.  It's all-wheel-drive, has a manual transmission and low(ish) mileage, all things we were looking for.  We decide it will be just fine for our additional car/kids car, and we buy it.

When we bring it home, Rebekah loves it. The other kids?  Not so much.  Rachel replies, "I hate the color."  The other kids mention how banged up it is, pointing out a few dings and dents. They seem surprised that we would buy such a "used" car.

Does this concern me?  Yes. (But mostly I don't care if they don't like the car!)

Scene III:
I recognize that our kids have had many opportunities.  They are definitely growing up with "more" than Stick and I ever had growing up, and we know it.

But, I feel like we've been prudent in all the aspects of our lives. We live well within our means. We plan for the future.  We bought the trampoline on clearance!  The kids wear hand me downs all the time and the only clothes they wear that I don't buy on clearance are jeans and shoes. (Although we do stock up on shoes when they are on sale in anticipation of the next shoe crisis.)  I still occasionally shop at Kid to Kid. We discuss money matters a lot with the kids and I say all the time, "Uh, we are not buying that, it's too expensive." They don't get allowance, but we will pay them if they want to do extra work around the house/yard.

But apparently it's not enough.  I don't want our kids to have the attitude that they have "more" than another person.  I want them to feel regular.  I don't want them to have the attitude that they are too good to drive a junker car.  I want them to know that a car is a car and if it drives, that's all that matters.

Clearly there is more work to be done in this area.  Like we do in all aspects of parenthood, we'll give it our best shot, and hope and pray for the best.

4 Comments

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When you figure this one out tell me the answer so I can copy you. Again.

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KT loves to copy you.

Kids= annoying.

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not yours, just kids in general

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I think you're doing a fine job. A lot of this stuff they won't really get until THEY are the one funding the new car, clothes, toys, etc. It's a whole new ballgame when you're the one shelling out the cash. Or maybe they'll get the same opportunity that their mom had and get to go to a 3rd world country and find out what REAL poverty is--and that those poor people are generally much happier than most of us rich(by comparison) Americans. Have you watched the Cosby episode where Theo gets the lesson with his dad on real life finances with the Monopoly money? It's awesome.

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